Coachella report: Katy Perry wore Dolce & Gabbana to a party and “no one really cares”

Here’s the transcript of a conversation I just had with a spy at the Coachella music festival, happening out in the California desert this month:

Me: Y U NO SEND GOSSIP. I PUT IN BLOG AND PODCAST.

Spy: I’ve seen a ton of famous people here and no one really cares. Except for people seeing Tony Hawk last night.

Me: Um, whut?

Spy: Yeah, people made a big deal about him.

Me: The skateboarder? Was he jumping the main stage or something?

Spy: No. That’s why it was a big deal. He was walking.

Me: No one cared about Lilo or Katy Perry or Rob Pattinson?

Spy: No girl. That’s the point.

Me: Tony Hawk! Walkin! It’s huge! Did he get mobbed?

Spy: Yes. Everyone wanted to take their picture with him or give him a high-five or whatever.

Poor Katy Perry. And she wore this crazy outfit with a dude's face on her vadge and everything. Now, if you're craving a more sizzling celebrity sighting from Coachella, be sure to check out my podcast next week. It's a doozy.